The last few days haven't been the easiest for The Opinionator. My life hasn't exactly been "difficult" per say, but I have struggled to pull myself out of couch in the morning. I keep hearing words like ambition, and motivation, but I really can't be bothered to look the definition of either of them up so I find myself disambitioned and demotivated. What could cause this uncharacteristic lull in my exciting, wish you could be me, life? Well it's not a what...It's a who. Or to be more specific...a who (plural).
The culprits are none other than the Atlanta hawks, the Montreal canadiens, and the Tampa Bay devil rays. These three sports teams have put me in a state of 7:05 pm (1:30 day game) misery for the past fortnight (actual period of time unknown) and although they pretend to be oblivious, they know full well what they are doing.
The devil rays, for instance, have been the MLB's bottom feeders ever since Steve Irwin turned down their offer to play first base in order to film a diving expedition in the Great Barrier Reef (we all know who eventually won that dispute), and yet through a series of fluke lights out pitching, and timely sustained offense, managed to sweep the Boston Red Sox.
The hawks used a combination of headbands, home court referees, and alliterative shooting guards to even an opening round playoff series with the Boston Celtics. Furthermore, they are notoriously ugly, and the majority of them are college drop outs.
While some may argue that the canadiens committed the most atrocious crime, literally ending the Boston Bruins season, the combination of hockey ambivalence and a recent trip to Montreal (they can't even speak English there) helped me come to the conclusion that as American as hockey is, it's all those canadien bastards have going for them, and alleviated any residual malcontent towards our retarded cousins to the north.
Some may argue that Boston has been spoiled by the fruits of 5 championships in the past 7 years. While most cities struggle with off season blues, empty stadiums, and horrible clam chowder, New England boasts the best team (arguable only be the mentally disabled and women) in 4 leagues (MLB, NBA, NFL, MLS). But are the memories of what was, combined with the excitement of what is, along with the anticipation of what is still to come enough to cure the occasional losing streak blues?
Yup. They are.
Go Sox, Pats, Celts, Revs, and Bruins.
Andrew
Official Fan and The Opinionator
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