Move Over Tom Cruise's Character in Cocktail, Here Comes The Opinionator

So I'm going to Hollywood. The west is calling, and the Opinionator will answer the phone (unless he's sitting quite comfortably outside of phone answering range). While the east coast has been home to a lot of memories i.e. the first opinionator blog, and that one about the facebirthday, and that other one about superficial woman ranking, the west coast holds the key to the door that leads through the entrance room past the guest bathroom through the kitchen and into the living room of success. And success, my friends, will be found in the form of a bartender.

I know it's far-fetched. I know it's a pipe dream. I know everyone says that they're going to L.A. to make it big in bartending's biggest stage. But I am going to throw my bottle opener into the ice bucket, and see if I can't catch a lime wedge. I've had plenty of people say to me "Hey Opinionator, you're pretty good at pouring that glass of orange juice, you should try to make it in orange juice pouring", or "You just have the look of a bartender". How long am I supposed to hold this promising future back? How can I live with myself if I don't try?

Now as sure as I am of my big break in Cali, I am a realist. It could take day, maybe even days before I find my niche behind the pine. I may have to do some small budget acting, or even some day time TV show gigs while I'm waiting for my break. Hell, I may even meet the connections I need to hit the ground running in my bartending career while I'm acting. Maybe Megan Fox knows a good bar that needs a charasmatic man of words (and action) (but mostly words) (with equal parts action), that she can make a call to in between takes of our 2 hours love scene (that's right ladies). I'm sure that Will Smith can take time from his supporting role to my lead in my evening movie shoot to introduce me to his buddy Sal who owns the corner wine bar.

The point is that I can survive long enough as an emmy winning actor/writer/producer/executive director to catch the break I need to become the head barman in Hollywood. And once I do, I won't even make you say I told you so. You'll just have to be satisfied saying "I knew that guy when he was still making regular mojitos" as you watch my emmy/oscar/nobel peace prize side project show. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Andrew
Official Road Tripper and the Opinionator